Have you ever just felt overwhelmed? I am sure you have. I think we all feel overwhelmed on a regular basis. December is no exception either. I am totally overwhelmed with my kids today. I want to enjoy them, I want to play with them, I want to kiss and hug them and yet I find it tough. There are things to do. That and the fact that they just keep pissing me off. Braelyn wakes up and cries for 20 minutes along my bedside - waking me, Gracyn, and finally Selah up. Good way to start the day. Selah permanent markered over Bitty Baby. Braelyn's bitty baby at that. Ugh. Yesterday she found diaper creme and smeared it all over bitty baby and my floor - the white creme. But the biggest overwhelming factor is that i feel stressed about my house/job. You see, Kyle can go to work, as a project manager and build a great buildingin about 4-6 months. It is VERY hard work, but in the end he has accomplished a great task. Everyday he sees progress (okay honey - maybe not every day!) Here I sit at home, vacuuming my dang wood floors for the 4th time this week already, just to have a mess be made on them again. I think we all feel this way some times moms. Just like what we do doesn't ever feel finished. And in reality - our job as a mother will NEVER be done. Sure - some days we feel accomplished, but I wonder if I will ever see the real end results. I am jealous of the fact that Kyle gets to see such amazing things get finished. Anyway - maybe that is one reason I actually look forward to going back to work for a few days a week. I see immediate results. Now I do know in my heart that I have the greatest job there is in raising kids. I don't doubt it, but I feel VERY innadequate. I feel like I am doing such a poor job. I know I could do better and yet I don't. Anyway - rant is over now and I feel better. Thanks for listening to that and I know that I am not the only one who feels this way so that is a great feeling too.
We had a great weekend! Kyle and I went with another couple friend up to Drummond Island so the guys could muzzle load hunt. Gracyn came with, while Cassie and my mom took over with Braelyn and Selah! I think they really enjoyed their time with Cassie as well as my mom and dad. But they did seem excited to see us (at least to see Kyle). But basically in Drummond Beth and I stayed right in the cabin. It was FREEZING outside and so we did a bunch of scrapbooking and we both took our bible studies and did that too. Good conversations about some of that stuff! My BSF was probably the toughest week thus far so it was good to talk with people about it. And we had gotten into conversations about heaven and all the unknowns. And on no ironic coincidence did God show me the following day in my study that we are to have a childlike faith - like not questioning all of the unknowns. So amazing to me how He reveals His word to me. So good weekend, and with no internet I actually stuck to scrapping! You can see some of my pages below! I will get them uploaded to my galleries as soon as I get a spare second.
Update on Gracyn after Dr. She is 13 lbs 7 oz - so about 97% they said in weight. She was 50% in height. So she is kind of a chunker. Love it - my first half way chunky baby! She took her shots like a champ too!
Well, I hope you all have a good day - off to feed Gracyn and then start lunch. Tonight we are having Kyle's parents over for roast and they are giving us their desk so I am sure I will be busy organizing that! Our office could use a good organizing! I hope to check in again this week - since I have been slacking on the blog lately!
MandaKay
11 comments:
hey girl! i've been reading your blog for a while, but had to comment today. i so feel your pain! i say that to my husband ALL the time. i have two little ones 17 months apart, and i literally don't know how you do it with THREE! anyway, love seeing your scrapping and taking encouragement from your words. thanks for sharing.
www.laurawatson.typepad.com
Hey Manda!
I had so much fun watching the girls this weekend they did so well! And I understand your waking up this morning haha although it was selah who went in braelynns room to wake her up :) but it was perfectly fine they were ready to get up on their watch :)
And selah found the diaper cream while I was there too and after she woke up from her nap and climbed out of the crib she had smeared it on the carpet and on a bear! :)
Anyways... I had an awesome time with them thanks so much for letting me watch them this weekend! I will post some pictures from this weekend at crazy bounce on here for you..
they did so great by the way they were really good.
hope your day goes better :)
I will probably give you a call tomorrow or friday
-Cassie
Sadie likes getting hold of all the lotions/cremes too. Thank goodness she just usually puts them on herself and not anything else. Sounds like Selah has been a stinker! She's a cute stinker though! :-) Glad you were able to get away and do some scrapping. Welcome back to reality, huh?
that is so funny you should post that today! I have been feeling the same way lately! your selah and my zoe sound like they are cut from the same cloth. i had to deal with Zoe in the post office yesterday for 45 min. while we waited in line and she decided acting like a wild animal would be fun! not fun for mom! i am told we will miss all of this one day. it is so hard to believe that right now, isn't it?! you are a good mom amanda, never doubt that for a second!
OMG DARLING DARLING PAGES! I'm overwhelmed too! Deep breaths girlfriend. :) Muah!
Overwhelmed...YES! In fact, if anyone read your blog and is not also overwhelmed, well then, I hate them! :) Seriously though, hang in there, you are a great mom and we are all entitled to bad days, weeks, even months!
As for Bitty Baby...did you try a magic eraser? I am speaking from experience here...
Also, we had to lock up vaseline, baby powder and mascara from Abigail when she was 2...ahhh...memories.
Glad you got some scrapping time... and without internet too, no distractions. I totally understand beign overwhelmed I think it's hard not to be this time of year, the job thing I totally understand, I struggle with being home quite a bit, but know that this is where I'm supposed to be, so I try to make the best of it... try! try! try!
I so get what you're saying about never feeling "finished". I feel like so much of what I do gets undone by someone else. I tried to explain to Erick that it would be like if someone went into his Juvenile Hall right after he got all the kids in their rooms for the night and then they incited a riot. LOL ok, it's not exactly the same but it feels like it!
Braelyn's waking up must be something about the age. McKenna did that for the past 2 weeks. She'd wake up, get out of bed and come to our room crying at least 2 times a night. I think we've finally broken the habit *knock on wood* but it's really frustrating! Hang in there! We ALL have days when we feel like lousy moms because our kids are driving us nuts.
i totally understand your rant, i could not have explained it better myself! beautiful layouts!
I think we all feel your pain, but the good thing about feeling this way is "it passes!!" It is hard to juggle Hubby, Kids, and Jobs. But when you have a good group of friends and a good prayer group, that helps the most!!! So I am praying for you! Even though I dont know you that well you seen like such a GREAT MOM!!! Oh and by the way your LO's are adorable!!
I'll second that rant, or maybe third ,fourth, fifth and sixth it!
I work and home school, but still feel like I don't do enough. We women expect so much of ourselves. Give yourself a break, and I'll try to give me one too. :)
Beautiful pages!
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