:::WARNING::: This is my everyday life blog which means I include the good, the bad, and the ugly. SORRY - I apologize in advance for this post. I really am writing this for me today - just to get it out.
Well, yesterday was just a bad day. I feel a touch overwhelmed lately. I don't know why. I feel down. I feel like I can't do anything right. I can't parent right, I can't be a good wife, I can't be happy. I tell myself everyday to clean up my act and I can't. I have NEVER been a good one for self control. Let me tell you NEVER. I eat what I want when I want. I can't stick to excercise. I can't stick to my Bible reading, or devotions. I just have no "sticktuitivenss" (like that word! :)) I tell myself I am going to be better, and I just don't. I tell myself to stop nagging my kids and husband and a minute later I turn around and NAG. My kids are always crabby. I have not been blessed with happy go lucky kids - constant whines and cries. Part of it is my parenting. And I am adding another into the mix - oh my - I could cry right now! Well, Life goes on. I will get over this. Hopefully it is just my pregnancy hormones and I am in week 12 almost so those should get a little better, right? Everyone looks forward to the second trimester! I hope my hubby can forgive me for nagging - he's not a fan of mine right now, nor are my kids I am sure. Forgiveness is such an amazing thing that I still can't quite grasp. Just the other day I was trying to tell Braelyn that even though she said sorry that when she keep repeatedly doing what she continually says sorry for that it makes the "sorry" a little less meaningful. Then I sat at lunch today and thought about how we continually let God down and he continually takes our "sorry's" and forgets about them - like they NEVER get less meaningful to Him even when we say sorry for the same thing over and over. Ugh - amazing and yet unbelievable almost. My hubby might have that same frustration with me when I continually apologize and ask for forgiveness and then I do it again a day later. never ending circle kind of. So if anyone has any life changing information for me - like a way to really get me to stick to things that would be great! :)
I am really quite an optimistic person most of the time - REALLY! I would consider myself pretty easy going. I normally look at big events in life and tragic things in a somehow uplifting light, so this is not a normal thing for me. I hate it. Anway - on with life - enough complaining. Glad I didn't get tagged with that no complaining tag today!!!
We really have no plans this weekend! It is supposed to be a touch chilly again here so mayeb a little outdoor play, but mostly inside I bet. I work again all day tomorrow and then the first three days of next week. I may have to talk hubby into a road trip next Thur. night thru Sat. or something! Do a little hotel action somewhere just to get away!
Again, sorry for the long annoying, down post. I will survive!!! :)
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8 comments:
Hi Amanda-
All I can say is it will get better. That probably doesn't seem very helpful. :( We ALL have those days (sometimes weeks!). You will look back on yesterday soon and think that it couldn't have been possible to have such a bad day. I am sure of it, it always happens. I think we need the bad days to appreciate the good, unfortunately. I hope today goes better the days to come. You are not a bad mom and wife, just a GOOD mom and wife having a bad day. Look up and have a GOOD one!
mel :)
Oh girl, you are so amazing!! An amazing mom, sister, wife and daughter. I think, and I think you know, that hormones are just getting the best of you right now. Just take it easy. Love ya!!
I hear you! Some days just suck and are hard to get through! I completely know what you mean about having trouble sticking to something...we may be kindred sisters there! :) Hang in there, know you aren't alone and things can only get better, right? :)
you know that it is sooooo totally normal to feel this way. don't beat yourself up over this. your family loves you. we have all been there and i think when i get back, we need to have another day of scrappin at church or another overnighter............what do ya say???!!! shall we set a date so we have something to look forward to?
I honestly feel that it helps to take a break from your kids when you get this way. It helps loads just to have someone else feed them, bathe them, put them to bed while you do something you enjoy. I can't be of much help until next week, but when we get back, I am taking those cutie-patooties overnight. I love them and you, and we ALL need a break. Can't help you with the sticktoitness, but turn it over to God. He can help. Love you!!!!!!!!
oh {{{hugs}}}} sweetie! Hang in there...we ALL have days like that! And being preggo gives you much more of an excuse that I have.
But I soooo know what you mean about not sticking to things. It is VERY hard for me...(you should see my house..you know, the one I say everytday I am going to keep clean!)
Hang in there...you'll make it! And getting away DEFINATELY helps!
I know you're an amazing mom and your house always looks amazing to me. I never knew how you did it with 2 little ones to take care of too. People have been forgiven for far worse than what I'm sure you're beating yourself up over. Trust me, I'd know. You have a beautiful family, a husband who loves you (even when you're nagging) and a beautiful home. You have an extended family who supports you and loves you. You'll get through this and, like Mel said, you'll appreciate the good days even more.
~Love ya
I wish I was full of wisdom and had some wonderful advice to offer, but unfortunately that's not the case. However, I can honestly say that I go through those very same things you describe on an almost cyclical basis. You're definitely not alone in this!
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