Two hour delay this morning - snow. This means Braelyn's three-school is cancelled. We are up and ready and Gracyn is in the car seat so that she can fall asleep in there and I won't have to transfer her in a sleep. I find out school is cancelled. I still have to decide what to bring for dessert to small group TONIGHT and make it. Small group that I would love secretly to drop out of only because we have to get a sitter for it and make things for it and I am overwhelmed with that (I do love it when there - don't get me wrong!). So I am looking thru my Kraft magazines and find a peanut butter pie - make my list and off we go to Target. I figured at Target I can just make one stop b/c I also need to pick up some bathing suits for the girls for Great Wolf Lodge next weekend. When we get to Target Gracyn starts crying, then Selah. Oh boy - now I am stuck in Target with crabby kids. AGGGGHHHHH.... Every mother I pass looks phenomenal and her kids all look great - well put together. Me and my scraggly looking, crying kids just pass and smile. Ok - so I didn't smile at everyone - so what. One guys says - "Wow - you're busy". Um, yeah - ya think???? So what I really want to know is how do those mothers do it. How are they out of the house, looking fabulous, kids looking and acting fabulous, and it is all of 10:00am. I am dealing with a bit of jealousy if you can't tell - LOL!
OK - enough of that - I am trying to make my day better this afternoon. I called in Kyle for re-inforcement. Told him he needed to come home from work a bit early b/c I am melting down. I have been nothing but mean to the kids all morning, and I figured if he comes home at 5:30 like normal then he is rushed to just get himself ready and I will be dealing with bathing 2 kids (since Braelyn already showered with me this morning), and getting everything set for the babysitter. So, he is coming home around 4:00!!! Yeah!
I am in BSF - no news to those of you who read regularly! So, I have been having thoughts of dropping out. Not because I don't love it, but because I don't think I can handle it. Is that horrible. I work on Mondays now again and it is so tough to get home, rush to eat dinner as a family, and then off to the study. I don't have too much of a hard time doing my lesson - pretty good at that, but it is so hard to go to the 2+ hour class. Decisions decisions. I feel like if I drop out though that I might be letting God down - like that He will say "what you don't have time for me?" What do you think. If I drop out though I would join some friends of mine that are doing a study on their own and that is held during the day so I am not missing out on stuff at night with my family. You see, if I do BSF on Monday nights I feel like I can't go out any other night b/c then I am leaving Kyle and the girls two nights a week. If you can't tell I like to spend time with them!
Gracyn is getting so big already guys! She is over three months now and she is just a joy! I have more anxiety leaving her than I remember having with the other two girls. I think the anxiety is that I am leaving 3 kids with someone. Like I can barely handle three kids, so how can I expect others to - KWIM?!
OK - signing off now to grab something to eat - just realized I never ate lunch - LOL!
Have a great weekend everyone!
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7 comments:
Did you write that post, Manda or did I? LOL! I so "feel ya" on everything you wrote! I feel the same about our small group...LOVE it when I'm there, but it's hard to take a night, pay a sitter, etc. Our group has eliminated dinner though and just does dessert now...the person hosting provides the dessert. Much better and less stress for us all.
I don't think you'd be terrible at all if you drop out of BSF and definitely not letting God down! You have to do what's best for your family and your sanity. It's not like that's your only connection to God either! If you ever persue a daytime Bible study of some sort, I would definitely be interested.
Oh, and we are dressed and ready and out of the house by 8:30 most days. BUT...we do not look fabulous and my kids are usually not well-behaved! LOL! So, it's normal!
Have a great weekend!
We were up at Great Wolf Lodge about a year and a half ago ... it was WONDERFUL and the boys can't wait to go back. Our youngest was a little over a year old at the time and he even thoroughly enjoyed himself. :)
I think that God understands our seasons of life. I have struggled with similar decisions about our schedule. God does not call us to a life that is so busy going going going that we can't enjoy our family or our time with Him. I think it's wonderful that you can get all your lessons done for BSF as I know that it is an intense study that requires a great deal of commitment!
Hang in there! :)
Oh I sooo know what you mean about leaving three kids! A few people have offered but how in the world do I dump three kids on someone who isn't used to having any??
Where to begin... Just b/c someone looks well put together doesn't mean that tomorow they won't look ragged and worn out with crabby kids themselves. The grass always looks greener! And yes... there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise, I've glimpsed it!
As far as BSF don't let yourself feel guilty about it. I struggled a great deal about taking Bailey out and felt really guilty about it, but after randomly talking with one of the children's leaders the other day I feel so much better. She stated it pretty clearly (not that I didn't know, I just needed someone else to say it for me), it's not for all people at all times. Maybe next year it will work better for you... who knows! And, it's not like you aren't going to do anything, you have something else lined up so you aren't putting God off,your just rearranging.
OK, that was long, sorry, hope it helped a bit though! Enjoy your weekend!
Hey!
Life has seemed so busy lately :) and I give you a lot of credit for all you do. You have a house that is so clean all the time and kids who are really wonderful.
As for leaving them all with a sitter :) they are really good. All three of them wasnt bad.. went very smooth. Selah is such a little helper :) And Gracyn is such a happy baby I love it. She is getting big I cant believe its 3 months already!
Hope you guys have a great weekend
If you ever need help just give me a call!
I will see you wednesday morning!
-Cassie
manda don't feel bad about dropping the class, God knows your heart and knows you love Him. you don't have to go to bsf to prove it. trust me, i've been there.
hugs.
kudos to the mom who even attempts to go out before 10am with 3 kids under the age of 4!! can you say wonderwoman! seriously, whether or not they are well-behaved is nothing... toddlers are fickle, one day is fabulous another is all tantrums. I think the fact that you even go out is great for you and your girls - it makes you feel human, what others think doesn't matter. I hope I made sense. I am not so eloquent with my typed words.
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