Do you ever have one of those days where you wish for so much? I’m having one of those days. The problem is, I am not wishing for such good things necessarily. I should be wishing for peace on earth, for clean water in every country, for love to abound. Instead I sit here and am wishing that life was easier, wishing that my house would just once stay clean, that my windows wouldn’t have finger prints and dog nose marks all over them. Wishing I could bake as well as I dream to be able to. I wish I have enough time and money to be as crafty as I want to be. Why can’t I take better photographs, or why can’t I scrap as well as some people can? I wish my kids would behave and just do what I want them to. I wish I was a better wife and mother. Now, hear me out – I know that as I sit here and wish these things, I know they are not healthy thoughts. Some of them stem from jealousy. Some of them are unrealistic, and all of them are just flat out selfish. I realize this even as I think them, and yet I find it hard to get them out of my mind. Do you ever have that. You know in your head that the devil is just feeding your mind and heart with lies. It’s not that some of these things aren’t good honest aspirations, but the way I am thinking about them is what is wrong. I am grumbling about the fact that I can’t do some of these things well enough. I don’t like the way I am acting and yet I am finding it so hard to change it at the moment. It’s like I know what is right and true, but I don’t quite know how to execute it. So I am resolving right now to be thankful for what I do have and who I am. I might not be the photographer I want to be, I might not be the baker that I want to be, but God made me and I am perfect in His eyes! What a relief to know I am perfect in someone’s eyes! He made me and I am His, and everything here on earth is so temporary. Reminds me of the song “Temporary Home” by Carrie Underwood – love that one! It is of no irony that this week I have been really trying to focus on Phillipians. Right now I need to put this verse in the fore-front of my mind:
Phillipians 2 :14-16
14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[c] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.
Love that verse about shining like stars in the sky! Who wouldn’t want to shine like a star in the universe?!
1 comment:
I totally know what you mean. Thanks for your honesty in blogging. Sometimes I read other "local" mom blogs and feel so inept. Your love for the Lord really shines thru. I tend to suddenly feel like an unfit mom, wife, homemaker....It all crashes at once for me. Thanks for sharing! By the way, I've NEVER scrapbooked and my camera only takes fuzzy photos (maybe because I picked it up at Costco just because it was a cute color--not smart!) Your girls and your photos are precious.
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